Thursday 25 October 2018

'Early Morning Run in... Rwanda'

Where did we leave things after Lagos? I remember... the old French spa day. A splash of water on the face, a dab of roll-on and a cigarette.

Libreville, departures hall. I look up at the outsized framed photo of the fellow looking down at me. President Ali Bongo of Gabon. I’m a secret admirer of the ‘Africa Big Man’.

0630 hrs. Typical, a long queue at the single ASKY Airlines check-in desk. I’m flying ‘Arthur Askey Airlines’. 

Oh, oh... here we go. A powerful whiff of cologne at my six? Maybe 50 yards. Is it, could well be... I don’t want to turn, but I can’t resist...

This ‘Africa Big Man’ is tall, a big unit. A beast. He wears a brown leather fedora. A cream suit. A dark waistcoat. More bling than a Greek shipping magnate. A watch the size of a small tortoise. Open-necked shirt. Pointy crocodile skin shoes by the looks. A smart matching briefcase. Very snappy. Someone wheeling his designer bag to check. Someone else carrying his passport. The third member of his posse wears a yellow hi-viz vest acting as a lead scout brushing people aside.

The queue is folk, like me, who’ve spent 2 hours less in bed to observe this spectacle. ‘The Big Man’ has a languid gait, he moves without eye contact. I’m impressed. Shame? Are you kidding?

My luck is in, I bag an aisle with an empty seat next to me, or as I like to call it, a poor man’s first class.

After a change in Nairobi, we are in... Kigali, Rwanda.





She smiles warmly, “Visa on arrival, Sir.”
“Yes, please.”
“How long will you stay in Rwanda?”
I reply, “A maximum of 7 days.”
“What is the purpose of your trip?” 
“Business... I’m a risk management consultant.”
“A risk management consultant?”
“Yes.” (Security pays. The hours are agreeable, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot).
“Can you confirm your date of birth?”
“Sure, 14 December.”
She smiles, pauses, “The year?”
I pause, “Every year…”
She laughs. “Thank you. You are welcome in Rwanda. $20 please?”

(You’ve got to be kidding me, $20. I want to pay $200, and be sent away to fill forms, and grow a beard while sitting on a white plastic garden chair). 

“Sir, are you OK?”
“Er, sorry... I’m fine... er, yes... $20... thank you.”
“You are most welcome Sir, please enjoy your time in Rwanda”.

Stunned. This isn’t TIA. I pull myself together. The electronic gate opens. We (you & me) are in Rwanda. Smaller than Switzerland. The smallest state in E. Africa. The most densely populated country on the continent.






0530 hrs. Early O clock. Rise and shine. First light in 30 mins. We (you & me) are running around Kigali this morning. We are in ‘The Land of a Thousand Hills’. I hope everyone’s feeling fit, we’ll be bounding up a few of them. Oh, and we are 5,000ft above sea level.

The hotel base for this jaunt is unique. Hôtel des Mille Collines. Opened in 1973 it later became ‘famous’ after the movie ‘Hotel Rwanda’ in 2004. This is the actual ‘Hotel Rwanda’. 



Kigali doesn’t have street names so we will stick with directions. Roads and roundabouts in this district are prefaced ‘KN’ (Kigali Nyarugenge). We are heading straight uphill on KN-6. By the time we get back, you’ll be saying, not another KN hill. We head south...




The roads are unusually deserted on this last Saturday morning in June 2018. Today is Umuganda Day. Everything is closed as citizens street clean as part of their civic duty. It seems to work, this is the cleanest African country I’ve visited. Oh, and plastic bags are banned by law for the past 10 years.




A quick pause (and to recover after the first hill) to capture Gorilla Roundabout. Rwanda is famous for its primates, tourists come in their tens of thousands to go on safaris up-country. Enough of this monkey business. Let’s push on in the worlds 9th safest country. So much to see...







This country has come a long way since the abyss of 1994 and the genocide. Remember, around one million people were slaughtered in less than 100 days. The reason? They were Tutsi, or they refused to participate in the horror.

The turnaround in 20+ years later is remarkable. I’ve witnessed several post-conflict zones in Africa. A devastating war can take 2 generations on average to reestablish a working country, about 60 years. Meaning a stable political system; with a tax system, healthcare, education, infrastructure, housing, and agriculture.

The most significant change after the genocide is a ‘no winner takes all’ system, here no political party can have more than 51% of cabinet positions, regardless of legislative strength post-election. Women are in charge. Girl power... around two-thirds of parliament is women. 




Let’s continue South into the heart of the city. Are we all good for 40 minutes this morning? You have to think, as you see this what a remarkable job the President has done. President Paul Kagame.

He has critics, he’s been in power 18 years. You know, the western human rights critics who sympathise with activists, who always know best and have all the answers. Perhaps Kagame is an 'old school African hardman', perhaps he is a benevolent 'dictator', maybe what's needed, given where this country was in 1994. Whatever, it seems to work. I didn’t hear any dissent from the people who really do know best and have all the answers; yep hairdressers and taxi drivers. I’ve taken taxis and risked a wet shave and a trim.

Let's turn and start heading back to Hotel Rwanda. Breakfast is calling, accompanied by some exquisite coffee. 

Passing 30 mins into the run I reflect on how there’s a nice calm about the place. There’s seemingly no edge; it’s passive, normal, safe, sustainable, pleasant, clean, conservative and law abiding. In fact, so much so, I would even rent a small self-drive car and walk around late at night in a tuxedo, with a top hat, wearing a watch carrying a man-bag (kidding, the top hat is a bit over the top). If Rwanda were in the Far East, it would be Singapore. Could it all become passe?

After absorbing the modern wonders of Kigali, the vistas, the thought-provoking genocide museum, the Dian Fossey bit, spectacular lakes, Hotel Rwanda, sampling some of the best coffee in the world, marvelling at the Internet connectivity. Passe? No, not possible.

But... after a few days, I do start to miss some aspects of the ‘other’ Africa. The threat or edginess of being car-jacked in broad daylight in Jo’Burg, being caught up in Nairobi, being in the middle of a street protest, come riot, in Conakry, the dysfunction & comedy of W. Africa, the energy & buzz of Lagos, the mystery of Mali, or the dangers of the broader Sahel. Places, where renting a self-drive car or strutting around in a tux with your valuables wouldn’t cross your mind.

Mixed emotions on Rwanda. A little like your mother-in-law driving over a cliff in your brand new sports car. Hang on, I've read Rwanda switched away from Francophone to Anglophone, from the French language to English and joined the Commonwealth in 2009. Adieu to the French. Rwanda gets my vote...

Ah, there's the hotel. I've enjoyed taking you round Kigali. Grab a shower, see you on the terrace for brekkie...




Rwanda has captured my imagination. Decide for yourself. Tourism is rapidly growing as the worlds significant media outlets can't stop writing about Rwanda. I recommend a visit, you won't be disappointed. 

They say the two happiest days in a man's life, is the day he buys a boat and the day he sells it. Seeing Rwanda might well be number three.

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