One of my contacts on LinkedIn describes himself as an intelligence analyst and a thriller writer - now, they are the same thing.
The Novotel in Lubumbashi. Life here is surreal. You never know what might happen next. The hotel hosts an event night. Dine and laugh for $40.
Le humourist, wearing a black cape, is working the tables, surrounded by four photographers with proper cameras. He talks a lot, and I’m trying to follow along in French. I’m not hearing too many chuckles. I’m dining but I ain’t laughing.
He says he wants people to ask him questions. He’s slowly closing in and acknowledging me. I’m the only gringo in the audience. I sense he’s coming… a potential nightmare. What does one do?
I think quickly and have something prepared… the old classic… if the mic comes my way.
I rehearse the line in my head over and over. Do I have the nerve? The confidence? Will it come across as mean? I’m happy. It’s fine. Anyway, it’s all in the jokey delivery. Je suis prêt…
Bonsoir. J’ai une question. Quand est-ce que les blagues commencent?
He veers off to another table, thankfully…
Let’s fly to Prague.
An arduous 2-day camel ride later…
A slight twist. Old school tonight. I can remember, about 24 moons ago, jogging back to the barracks in different parts of the world after a night out. It was a way to freshen up. Whoa… was it really that many moons ago?
It’s 18:30, and it’s been dark for the past hour in Dec in this part of Europe. Let’s go out and explore the city of a hundred spires.
We are 2 clicks north of the revered old town. That’s where the sights are, and our night out together is calling.
We’ll mix it up. We’ll jog parts and hop on the odd tram heading in the right direction. Trams of various vintages zigzag through this city. I have our 24-hour pass (hop on any tram, any bus, any metro) for £4. We’ll stick with trams, more romantic…
Most of the trams are modern, but there are a few from back in the day, when this was Czechoslovakia (before Dec 1992). I’ll keep my eye out; it’ll be like being in a John Le Carre novel from the Cold War.
Let’s go. Need to keep a southerly bearing. I gaze up at the stars (ha, the Garmin watch) and jog easily for 10 minutes or so. It feels good in the chill of the evening. I’ll look out for a bar for our first watering hole… um, a plush wine bar. This will do nicely.
A glass of white wine and some freshly cut bread with olive oil to start our evening. A quick look at the map, and we’re now about 800 metres from the old square.
Let’s jump on a tram to get closer.
A gentle jog into the square, and it’s heaving with visitors, thanks to a thriving Christmas market.
Every city has a smell. I came here from Kinshasa, where the scent was corruption, bandits, and decay (sorry, Congo). The smell here in downtown Prague… weed, probably helped by the ganja shops everywhere.
I want to show you the square and the famous clock tower.
First up, it’s beer o’clock. How about a 15th-century brewery? Found it on the map. Head west towards the Vltava River, which runs through the city’s heart.
About half a click, and it’ll be on our right. No jogging. The streets are heaving.
Can we get in? It’s packed, and a trio in traditional dress is playing accordions and cowbells (think SNL/Christopher Walken), adding to the atmosphere. We’ve grabbed the last table. Time for a large Czech beer - it tastes terrific.
300m now to a little, quaint restaurant for dinner. Ah, that feeling of jogging with a couple of drinks sloshing around. It feels strangely good… with the odd pause for more pictures.
Comfort food, a cheeseburger and fries, and a tall pilsner. Jot down some ideas and a couple of voice notes. I’m enjoying tonight.
I’m thinking of one more stop for a nightcap, then a jog or a tram back north.
We must do this one, the famous Charles Bridge.
Something from the top shelf (probably one JD on the rocks for that melancholy moment). As my old drill sergeant used to say, ‘We drink beer, keep away from the top shelf’. That’s stood me in good stead. Special occasions only, weddings and funerals… and tonight. You might remember from the Lagos blog, one of his other gems, a boozy night out - ‘get yourself to bed, nothing good happens after midnight’. He had many: ‘save a little money, you want to die somewhere warm.’
I wonder if he’s still going; he’d be at least in his mid-80s, I guess. Did he save a little money? I do wonder. A pleasant atmosphere in here, with live music. I’m thinking about my time in Prague. This is the final night.
I am here for a risk management conference with Pulse360 (highly recommended - Clive, you asked for the name check...). This annual European conference in December has inspired previous blogs (Amsterdam, Vienna, Budapest, and, more recently, Berlin). Next year is Copenhagen. I had a speaking slot this year. You’re probably thinking, how did that go? Well, the reviews are in, and I can best sum it up in 4 words. Cue the confetti cannons.
‘A triumph, darling, sensational.’
An alternative view could well have been… ‘Please, give up now!’
I raise my JD, rattle the ice, and offer a silent toast to thank Sara, Sanna, Clive, and the whole Pulse team. It was a truly brilliant event and a pleasure to attend. In the words of Carly Simon, ‘you’re so vai…, no, not that one… this one… ‘no one does it better’
A second toast to everyone reading this. 4 words in closing.
Best wishes for 2026.
